Why Staying Married Will Make You Happier
May 12th, 2009 by JR Griggs
Image by Jsome1
In today’s society we are taught that if you are unhappy with your marriage, just get divorced and have a do over with someone else. Then you can leave the “mistake” you made and find someone who will truly make you “happy". Those words, “till death do us part” sadly mean nothing to many couples. It’s so easy to get a divorce now so why not just start over? Well, the reason is because you will probably not be any happier and if you re-marry you will probably re-divorce.
Are you “unhappily married”?
In a report from the National Survey of Families and Households, 5,232 married adults were interviewed and 1,315 said they were "unhappily married." Five years later, the same adults who said they were unhappily married, some of whom had divorced and some of whom had stayed married, were interviewed again.
Nearly 80% of the couples who decided to stick it out and stay together considered themselves "happily married" and "much happier." Of the couples who got divorced, only 19% reported being happy.
Those who got a divorce were really no happier, so was it the marriage that was making them unhappy? Why is it that the couples who stuck it out were happier? What changed?
No marriage is unfixable, but every divorce is painful! Divorce tears you apart as well as your kids if you have them. When I see kids watching their parents divorce, my heart breaks for them. The bottom line is that when you work out the tough times and stick it out, you as a person grow. This will strengthen your marriage. When you cut and run when things get tough, it just guarantees that you will do it the next time too. Working it out will not only strengthen you and your spouse, but your kids will grow up to understand the value of "till death do us part”.
A new marriage will fix it right?
Another study shows that over 60% of second marriages and 75% of third marriages end in divorce. Why is this? If it was a “compatibility issue”, you should be fine in the next marriage right? So why such high numbers? Maybe it’s a character issue? Maybe you need to take a good look at yourself and ask if you are really willing to deal with the issues.
We know that you will not be happier with a divorce. We know that your next marriage will probably not last either. So what is left to do? The answer is to work on your marriage, do all you can to strengthen it every day.
Sit down with your spouse tonight and ask some of these questions:
“If there was one thing you could change about our marriage, what would it be?”
“What is the weakest part of our marriage?”
“What is the strongest part of our marriage?”
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